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Friday, December 21, 2012

In the Interest of the Public Good

    Back in July I posted an entry (“Weighing In On Weighing In”) about my attempt to lose a bit of real estate around my middle-aged middle.  I was pretty good about posting regular updates in the beginning, but that fell by the wayside after about eight weeks or so. I hate leaving projects unfinished, so here’s the final report on how my attempt at taking on the Vemma 12-Week Bod-e Transformation Challenge ended up.

    The plan calls for a carb-cycling meal program, regular exercise, and the Vemma product supplementation. I dutifully followed the program for the first 8 or 9 weeks, and saw a weight loss of about 3 to 4 pounds and little less belly.   During this time, I also kept up my already-established exercise regimen of 2 hours per week of weight training and some walking.  The biggest change for me was adhering to the meal schedule, even more than portion size and food choices recommended for this program.

     I actually enjoyed the taste of the Vemma Bod-e Burn drinks, and found it easy to drink one shortly after rising, along with the prescribed small carbohydrate-rich breakfast. That was usually a whole grain English muffin, a toaster-style waffle, or a bowl of instant oatmeal with a few sprays of liquid butter and some sugar-free syrup.  This meal is designed to get your metabolic furnace heated up for the day. It worked for me; maybe a little too well. I was as ravenous as a termite within 2 hours. In fact, I stayed pretty hungry on this plan, as in almost all the time. Three hours to the next meal seemed like an eternity to me on some days.

    What gave me the most difficulty, however, was trying to eat the other four small meals per day, spaced 3 hours apart. I found that in order to get the five meals actually eaten, I had to start reasonably early, like by no later than 7 a.m.. Otherwise,  I would be eating the last meal of the day well after 7 p.m..  Since I’m a night owl by nature, I don’t do “reasonably early” very well, truth be told.  So I often ended up eating four smaller meals more often than the called for five meals. You would think that missing a meal would not be a problem on a weight-loss plan, but it actually runs counter to the Vemma program.  The Bod-e Challenge is designed to help you get a  hefty amount of protein into your diet day in order to help you build lean muscle. A missing meal equals less protein consumed for the day, and one less log thrown on the ol’ metabolic fire.

    About two-thirds of the way down the road to “body transform-ation,” I hit a major pothole. Issues with my lower back sent me back to my doctor and the physical therapist.  Walking usually helps me with stiffness and pain, but not this time. Walking began to aggravate my condition, so I had to cut that out of for a while. When I did venture out - on days the weather was just too wonderful to stay indoors - I kept my route along flat areas in the neighborhood, and avoided chugging up inclines. All this to say, my activity (hence calorie-burning) level dropped off.

    My enthusiasm for carb-cycling took a major dive, as well.  I realized there was no way I was going to adhere to this meal strategy on a permanent basis. Around the 9-week mark, I didn’t think I could look another cup of low-fat cottage cheese in the face, and I didn’t want to see anymore turkey until Thanksgiving.  I grew distracted.  I began lingering too long in the snack aisle of my local Publix. “Oh look, Cape Cod potato chips are on sale, two bags for $5! I could get the reduced fat ones....but then the regular ones have an extra ounce of chips in the bag. Hmmm.....” I'm afraid I never met a potato chip I didn't like. Discipline began to give way to the siren call of the salty snack.

    In short, I staggered to the end of the 12-week Bod-e Trans-formation Challenge not exactly transformed. By Thanksgiving my “after” photo, if I’d bothered to take one, looked almost like my “before” photo. But my experience only gives credence to the policy of weight loss companies of printing somewhere on their glowing promotional material, in tiny print, “Results not typical.” This statement always appears on a photo of Big Bertha Schmitt after she drops the equivalent weight of a grand piano. I suspect that my results are actually very typical.

    I like the Vemma product, for the most part. Each Bod-e burn drink has 20 grams of protein and 7 grams of fiber, and their proprietary blend of vitamins. I thought seriously about repeating the Bod-e Challenge. However, after considering the additional expense, I balked. Bod-e product is almost 4 bucks per serving (2-3 daily) by the time you figure in shipping. Vemma would not be my path to renewed sveltness.

    So there it is. I give you my final report in the interest of the public good, as promised. I have no amazing Bod-e Challenge testimonial to give you. They do exist; I’m just not one of them.  Then again, I wasn’t in need of a major transformation to start with.  The Vemma Bod-e  Plan wasn’t the best fit for me, but a lot of their customers swear by it.

    Healthy lifestyle changes are like pairs of shoes. Sometimes you have to try on a few different styles to find the one that truly fits you. In fact, I'm trying on another one now. There's a copy of Dr. Joel Furhman’s book, Eat to Live, on my iPad and a very large container of organic baby spinach in the refrigerator.  Large plate of greens, anyone?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

It’s Beginning to Look Somewhat Like Christmas

   Sometimes I think my neighbors must believe that I’m a Jehovah’s Witness. You see, I never get the outside of my house or the yard decorated for any holiday, not even for Christmas, the mother of all decorate-your-property holidays.  There are no icicle lights hanging from the eves of the house, nor twinkling on the bushes.  I have no electric candles shining from the windows at night. There’s not one bit of greenery on my mailbox. I do own a wreathe hanger for the front door that I purchased a few years ago, but no actual wreathe to hang on it. My house’s exterior practically screams, "Bah humbug!" at Christmas time.

    Now, I’m not against decorating. I’m not one of those “Christmas trees are pagan” kind of Christians.  I would be truly disappointed if no one else strung lights all over their landscaping, made their gas lamps look like candy canes, or set up a nativity scene.  I honestly enjoy and appreciate everyone else’s efforts. I just don’t want to do all that work myself because, frankly, I don't enjoy it. Besides, decorating outside for Christmas invokes the law of gravity - what goes up must come down and preferably before summer arrives.

    Believe it or not, there is a positive side to being an exterior decorating Scrooge. No one has ever tripped over any guy lines anchoring down a tacky Santa Claus inflatable anchored in my front yard. The mailman can get my box open without shredding his knuckles on a pine cone.  Best of all, I’ve never been rushed to the ER because I fell off a ladder trying to hang a string of lights from the eve of my house (or while taking them down again in July). This is an important point, as I’m already in physical therapy for the stuff I manage to do myself with both feet on the ground.  My medical co-pays are high enough right now, thank you very much!

    “Come on, Lynn, show some Christmas spirit,” you say. I know, I know - I should at least go find that festive wreathe for the front door.  Don’t be too hard on me, though.  I managed to get a few Christmas cards out for the first time in a long time. And my Christmas tree is up and decorated inside the house. So it is beginning to look somewhat like Christmas around here.

    Merry Christmas, ya’ll!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Church of the Buckshot


   Every person on the planet has this in-born tendency to repeat the same behaviors over and over again, be they good, bad or boring.  Sometimes we call such behavior a routine, which can be a good thing.  There’s virtue in establishing routines like structuring our mornings so that we get to work on time every day, or going to the gym the same two days each week. Sometimes, however, we stick with our behaviors just because we don’t want to be bothered with making a change.

   We humans are indeed creatures of habit. Nowhere is this characteristic trait more obvious than where people sit in a church sanctuary from Sunday to Sunday.  About two years ago, my church added a second service, and I was asked to lead worship for it. Since it meets earlier than the main service, our numbers are smaller. You would think that our First Service people would adjust to our reduced size and sit as an identifiable group, but no.  They all sit in exactly the same seats on exactly the same pews where they used to sit when we all met together in one service. The problem, for me at least, is that hardly anyone sits near the front, or even near each other. I mean, they look like a spray of buckshot out there!

    As a worship leader, this distresses me. It’s hard to connect with 40-50 people in a room designed to hold 300 when they’re spread out as much as they are. I’ve tried my darndest to get at least some of the Church of the Buckshot to sit a couple of pews closer to the front. I swore publicly that it was safe for everybody, as no one on the worship team had cooties. Our bass player even piped up that he’d had all his shots. They all laughed at the joke, but nobody budged an inch. The following Sunday, they all sat to the rear of middle, as usual. I kept trying though. One Sunday I sang a special song to them, a parody of Carol King’s “So Far Away:”

    So far away, doesn’t anybody want to sit close anymore?
    I don’t understand why you sit back by the door
    It just doesn’t help to know that you sit far away
    Yayeeayeeeee, so far away...

They thought the song was pretty funny, but they still didn’t move in any closer. Sitting in a different location would require change on their part, don’t you know. My Lord, whoever heard of Christians making any changes in their lives as mammoth as sitting in a different seat on Sunday? What a preposterous idea!

    I suppose I should just give up trying to make them behave like a congregation instead of strangers in an airport terminal. People are going to do what people are going to do, etc., etc., etc..  - but I can’t. This buckshot seating pattern just BUGS me!  I especially hate to see single people sitting off by themselves - it just doesn’t look like God’s family has gathered.  So next week I may try another appeal for a migration out from the fringes and closer to the front. Maybe this parody of “La Bamba” will work:

    Please sit a little bit closer
    Please sit a little bit closer
    Be friendlier saints
    Sit a little bit closer

    Sit a little bit closer, show me your face
    Please sit up near the front,
    Sit closer together, not all over the place
    Just for a change, just for a change   

    Pleeease sit closer, Pleeease sit closer
    Pleeease sit closer, Pleeease sit closer

That should do the trick, don’t your think? Yeah, right.

That’s all she wrote,

Friday, September 7, 2012

I’m Not Making This Up

    Years and years ago, when my two brothers and I were mere youngsters, we shared the amenities of the hall bathroom of our family's modest 3-bedroom ranch home. On nights before a school day or a Sunday morning church service, my brothers and I negotiated our turns with baths and tooth brushing. “You go first! No, I went first last night. You go first!”  Eventually someone acquiesced, and the nightly routine began. Our standing rule was that the first bather had to let the other one know when they were done with the bathroom.  “I’m out!” was our usual signal.

    So one Saturday night, on an evening my brother Tommy took his bath first, I decided to watch some television until the bathroom was free. The Rev. Billy Graham was on the air, and he was preaching about Jesus’ encounter with the demon-possessed man.  He skillfully set the dramatic scene, as only a good preacher can do, and I was hanging onto every word. “The demons who had been tormenting this man cried out, ‘What have we to do with you, Jesus, Son of the Most High God?’ Rev. Graham paused for effect and then swung his hand for emphasis in a motion not unlike one of those Atlanta Braves tomahawk chops. “Jesus commanded the demons to leave the man.  ‘Come out of him!’”  A split-second later, I heard the bathroom door swing open and my brother loudly announcing, “I’M OUT!”   I’m not making this up. I only wish someone had been there with me to appreciate the moment!

    On another evening, much more recently, I discussed some song possibilities during a rehearsal with my worship team for the service we lead at our church. “I’ve been considering this classic gospel song, ‘Fill My Cup, Lord.'  I think a lot of our people would enjoy singing it.”  Our piano player promptly began to giggle and nearly slid off the bench laughing. “Oh, no! I don’t think I can do that one!”  He then went on to tell us the following true story.

Friends of his were attending a church prayer service - I’ll just say it was somewhere in America - when the pastor began to exhort his parishioners to pray in faith. “You have not, because you ask not!” he declared. At that prompting, one of the ladies present began to fervently ask the Lord for, ah, how shall I put this... well, for a larger bosom.  The pastor was rendered speechless by this unexpected development, but he regained enough composure to ask the worship team to play a song. Quickly. The song they chose was  “Fill My Cup, Lord.”  I swear I’m not making this up!

    Needless to say, we have yet to sing “Fill My Cup, Lord” at the nine o’clock service at my church. The entire worship team would probably all crack up within the first three notes if we tried to do it any time soon. Quite honestly,  if I even think about that story now, I start laughing. I’m not making that up, either!


Friday, August 17, 2012

Tripping the Tongue Fantastic

I recently enlarged the font size of my blog entries and changed it to Times from Helvetica. Let me know how you like it. 

If you speak to groups of people often enough, you will eventually say something pretty goofy.  It will come flying out of your mouth before you can do a thing about it, and often with very comical and even embarrassing results. If you’re lucky, everyone will think your spoken faux pas is funny and you can laugh at yourself and move on.

One of the best sermon bloopers I ever heard about actually happened in my own church. Several years ago one of our pastors ministered on the topic of harvesting souls for God’s kingdom. He used the analogy of a piece of modern farm equipment, the combine, to illustrate a point.  “And the farmer rides that combine...,” he began.  Well, he meant to say "combine." The trouble is, he didn’t. He said “concubine.” 

Now, I wasn’t present in the service that morning, but I sure heard about it later. And I laughed and laughed, and it still makes me smile just thinking about it! This man is so respectful of the sensibilities of others, he would never in a million years say such a thing from the pulpit intentionally. And that just makes it all the more hilarious!

Worship leaders are not immune from tripping over their tongues, either. Some years ago, I was leading my home church in the song, “Amen! Praise and Honor.” The chorus is pretty easy to remember, but the verses get a little wordy. If you’re not paying attention, it’s easy to flub the lyric.  So we get to the line that says,

    Day and night they are standing there
    Lifting palm leaves up in their hands

 If there is one advantage of being the worship leader instead of the preacher, it’s that other people are singing along with you, which helps hide your vocal mistakes. What I sang, and over a microphone, was “lifting palm trees up in their hands.”  I’d been singing with my eyes closed, but they shot open as big as saucers when it dawned on me what I’d sung. And then I immediately got this picture in my mind of the multitudes before God’s throne straining to heft large potted plants, and, well, I just couldn’t help myself. I started snickering! I was well on my way to guffawing, when I caught myself. I must have turned red as a beet from trying to hold it together in front of the church, but I did manage to keep from totally losing it. We finished the worship service with most of the congregation none the wiser.  But I was never able to sing that song with a straight face again!

The song "Amen! Praise and Honor" hasn't been included in one of my set lists in quite some time - I still tend to sing "palm  trees."  I don’t think I'm going to hear a sermon in my home church any time soon that involves farm machinery, either.  Too bad!


“Amen! Praise and Honor” by Gerrit Gustafson
  © 1987 Integrity's Hosanna! Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)

Friday, August 10, 2012

Lake Tahoe, Here I Come!

All the diet and health plans I’ve ever heard of want you to drink water every day in amounts equivalent to Lake Tahoe.  I exaggerate, you say. “Come on, Lynn, it’s only a gallon.”  A gallon. Do you hear yourself?  Maybe that seems like a reasonable amount to you, but a gallon of water might as well be Lake Tahoe, to me. I like water. Really, I do, but I also like to be able to leave my house for more than ten minutes at a time.  I already do the “tiny bladder turn-around” as it is.  The “TBT”  is a maneuver I usually perform as I’m headed out to the gym, or to the grocery store, or to church and I realize I need to go the bathroom again before I can leave the house.  This happens to me all the time.  So you can imagine how fond I am of my weight loss plan requirement that I strive to drink one-half to one gallon of water every day.

A gallon of anything is just a huge amount of liquid, if you ask me. We put fuel by the gallon into large things like air planes, armored personnel carriers, and Chevrolet Suburbans. When someone stumbles into a patch of poison ivy and breaks out into a really bad rash, they always say things afterwards like, "Ohhh!  I was itching so bad, I bet I went through a gallon of calamine lotion trying to get some relief!"  Even that really big Spanish warship from hundreds of years ago was known as a galleon, which is a word that looks to me like it probably means "holds mucho gallons." I feel sure that the Conquistadors wrangled funds for their expeditions to the Americas with appeals like this: "Your Majesty, certainly you must know how lousy the water is in Europe right now. We're going to need gallons of beer to make it to the New World.  There's simply no way we can we can haul all those kegs and our swords and the horses, not to mention fending off those pesky English pirates trying to steal ou--I mean, your gold, without a new galleon."  I'm telling you, drinking a gallon of water in a single day is a big deal!

As challenging as all this water drinking is for me, I am trying hard to drink at least half a gallon of it daily.  I know that fresh, pure water is one of the best things you can put into your body. In fact, I used to have a copy of a very well-documented book on the merits of drinking like a fish. Water, that is.  A doctor somewhere in the middle east, I think, was able to cure all kinds of serious maladies for his patients just by getting them to drink a whole lot of water. There’s plenty of medical evidence to prove that water does your body a world of good.

Somewhere deep down in my heart I actually believe this. So, Lake Tahoe, here I come!


P.S.  All joking aside, many people in our world are in desperate need of a reliable source of fresh drinking water.  Here's two ways you can help bring the gift of clean water in Jesus' Name:

Samaritan's Purse Water Projects

Operation Blessing International

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Psssst! Hey Fred....

A really good friend will tell you important stuff about your life like, "Psssst! Hey Fred, your fly's open, man." Or "Sally, take this tissue. You got a booger hanging from your left nostril."  Or how about this one: "I read your blog, but I think it's kinda long. The recommended word count for a blog these days is 17 1/2 words. You might want to work on shortening things up a bit."

Ah....good feedback. Thank you, Angela P! I shall work on my verbosity.

It's Sunday. Everybody go take a nap!


Friday, August 3, 2012

A Little Housekeeping

I haven't been a blogger very long at all, so I'm still in the process are learning how to use this Google Blogger platform. I did clean up the header a little, but I have no cool photos yet to put up there and  spruce things up. I managed to find the setting that controls who can leave a comment, so as long as you have a Google+ (gmail) account, and you're signed into it, you can now comment away.  My apologies to those of you who tried earlier and weren't successful. You'll be relieved to know that it wasn't you!  Of course, if you just want to read the blog and not leave a public comment, you won't need a Google account.  I will usually link it to Facebook, so comments can be left there also. Or you can share it, or just "like" it so that you don't create a barrage of email notifications to yourself from a FaceBook conversation.

At the top of my blog page there's a place to enter your email address.  I couldn't figure out how to label it with something like, "Subscribe by email here," but hopefully most folks will figure that out on their own.  Enter yours and click on "submit" if you want a notification when I post a new entry. I have no idea if it actually works yet. At the very top left hand corner, there's a place in the tool bar to share the blog address. Just click on "Share," and it will give you a box menu. Facebook is one place you can share it, and I think Twitter is another. Not a Tweeter, myself. There's also a Google+ badge to click (above the blog entry date) if you've got a circle of contacts there that you'd like to share this blog with. 

My plan for this blog is to keep things light-hearted and preferably as funny as possible. I want to see if I can develop some skill as a humor writer. Or is it "as a humorist?"  Hmmm....not sure. I just want to see if I can be funny in print. How's that?

My goal is to blog with some kind of consistency -  somewhere around once a week or twice monthly. I have a backlog of ideas at the moment, but I'll try to pace myself and not become too annoying!

I'm an introvert/singer/songwriter with a melancholic temperament. That's psycho-code for "has high affirmation needs, just won't tell anybody." Lord knows, I need some of you to leave comments now and again.

Have a fantastic weekend!

P.S.  The previous blog entry is much more entertaining.

P.P.S.  Wondering about the name of my blog page? Probably not, but here's a couple of examples anyway of literary usages of the term as noted at

"When it starts to get really dark, when the sky goes from blue to purple, I’m flipping back. That’s it; that’s all she wrote. I’m not walking through these woods after dark."
The Talisman, by Stephen King, 1984.

"Skipper Tom meowing and hopping around like he had the itch. Then dumped a load of cat crap all over a lobster trap. Jack threw it overboard to rinse it, and that’s all she wrote buddy, he was jerked into the water."
The Shipping News, by E Annie Proulx, 1993.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Truly a Moving Experience

    If you’ve ever seen any ads for weight loss products, then you’ve probably run across ones that purport to help rid your body of the toxic effects of your poor food choices. Whatever the brand name, companies usually label such products as a detoxifying cleanse.  Cleanse.  Now isn’t that a soothing word?  Why, it almost sounds like something Jesus would say. “Come to me, all ye bloated! Bring me your toxin-stuffed livers, and I will provide for you a cleanse.”

    I’m currently towards the end of my third week of a twelve-week weight loss program. On July 6th, I signed up for Vemma’s Bod-e 12-Week Transformation Challenge. After I opened a customer account and placed my order online, I refreshed myself on how the Bod-e plan works and put together my personalized meal plan using a tool found on their web site. 

    In addition to daily exercise and drinking a ton of water, this metabolism-boosting plan is based on carb cycling. You eat five small healthy meals a day, and supplement with their Bod-e nutritional products. They have a pretty cool template called Bod-e Trainer that helps you with all the daily menus, groceries lists, and even provides the recipes you may need.  If you want, they’ll even text you when it’s time to eat again - every three hours.  Oh, and to maximize the anticipated fabulous results, they want you to take their Bod-e Cleanse for the prescribed seven days. You’re to do this at least once during the twelve weeks, and once at the beginning of every four week carb cycle is recommended.

    I’m all about maximizing results, so I dutifully started the cleanse on the day after my Bod-e product order arrived. I was headed out of town the following week, and I had a feeling that driving the interstate highway and this cleanse were not going to be compatible.  My friend Teri, who introduced me to Vemma products, had also advised me to stick around the house during the first two days of a cleanse.  I’m not sure where the origin of the “cleanse” label came from, except that it sounds a lot more appealing than a “purge”, “Attila the Cleanse,” or “Elixir of Roto-Rooter.” Never heard of Roto-Rooter? Here’s their jingle:  “Call Roto-Rooter, that’s the name, and away go troubles down the drain! Roto-Rooter!” I’m sure you get the picture.

    One of the best things about my inaugural cleanse is that I spilled the entire contents of day five’s bottle all over my range top. (Thankfully, it’s a smooth surface model.) That de-toxic spill turned my seven-day cleanse into a six-day one, for which I was enormously grateful. After the first two days though, the cleanse really wasn’t so bad. I figured out the best time of day to drink my daily dose, and even found that I could bolt from my couch to the opposite end of my house in record time, should the need arise. I guess I’m glad I finished the cleanse; surely at least some of those nasty toxins must have been coaxed out of my fat cells. Shoot, just the sprints to the can must have burned something off! All in all, I must say that I found the whole experience truly moving.

Two more days until I weigh in again, and that’s all she wrote.


P.S.  You can read about the Bod-e Transformation Challenge here:

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Back in the Saddle Again

    On any Sunday morning, you’re likely to find me leading worship for the nine o’clock service at my home church.  In April of 2010, we added a second worship service. My church is growing, but I wouldn’t say we’re busting at the seams. We launched what I refer to as First Service because an increasingly vocal segment of our congregation found it almost impossible to connect with our new and much younger worship leader who had arrived the year before.  Poor guy! He loves the Lord, he’s immensely talented, and he has a genuine anointing to connect people to God.  He came to us fresh out of college ministry, however, and he floundered a bit for before finding his way (most admirably, I must say) through the worship style preference minefield of our multi-generational church family.  After our pastor got an earful of grousing from the deeply perturbed, he met with the worship leaders to talk about the idea of adding a new service. We agreed that, whereas it wasn’t the ideal solution, we really needed to give our older people a service geared more closely to their preferences.  And then he asked me to lead the music for it.

    “Great!” I thought to myself.  Writing songs and leading people in worship to God has been my “sweet spot” in life, and I’ve been at it for over 30 years now.  At this stage, however, retiring to a place by a lake somewhere has a lot of appeal to me. I find that I need extra motivation to keep writing, singing, and playing guitar on a regular basis. You know the old maxim, “use it or lose it.”  I’ve been on worship teams practically non-stop from the late 1970’s, but I haven’t had the weekly responsibility of being a worship leader in years. “This will be good for me,” I reasoned.  I actually began to think excitedly about developing a worship song repertoire for the new service. Then we started discussing service times.  My pastor said, “We’ll keep the later time for the main service. Only we’ll move it to ten-thirty.” We’ve met at ten o’clock since Noah got off the ark, I think.  “Let’s see...we need to allow about 15 minutes to transition between services, we need to start this new service by nine o’clock.” 

    “Nine o’clock.” The words reverberated in my mind like a death knell. Starting a worship service at nine in the morning meant that I would have to rehearse with our worship team at .... oh, Lord....eight o’clock! And if you really want to actually start by eight, you have to get into the building, tune your instrument, set up your gear, get plugged in, and warmed up by eight.  Suddenly this new service idea was not nearly as exciting to me as it was two and half seconds previously.  “What’s the big deal,” you ask?  “I have to be at work by that time and often much earlier.”  True. But I bet you never have to stand up in front of a group of nicely dressed church people, who may secretly be thinking, “You’d better sing something I like, or the arms stay CROSSED!” and sing reasonably well, while you’re at it. And you have to look happy about it because you’re a Christian, not to mention the fact you’re the worship leader. And you can't drink strong black coffee while you're doing it, like you probably do at your job, or even like the people in those seeker-friendly pews. Chairs. Whatever!

    Besides, I’m a musician. Everybody knows musicians are typically not early risers. We tend to be night owls. We stay up late to watch Andy Griffith re-runs on television, and maybe Dave Letterman (we think Dave Letterman is funny. Maybe it’s because of Paul Schaffer’s band). That also explains why we require large quantities of coffee to function during the hours before noon. You can frequently find flocks of us huddling together in a Starbucks somewhere, speaking in low tones about how hard it is to get to pre-service rehearsal on a Sunday morning.  And anyways, it’s Sunday, for pete’s sake! You know, that day of rest we’re all supposed to be resting on?  I now get up on Sundays earlier than any other day of the week, which is why I go into a coma after lunch almost every Sunday afternoon. But I’ll head down that rabbit trail some other time.

    Our two services have been running for over two years now, and hallelujah! the grousing has pretty much ceased.  The church has been meeting in one combined worship service since mid-June though.  Since a lot of people vacation during the summer and numbers are typically down for both services, our leadership made the decision to meet in one service for a few weeks. It’s been wonderful having the whole church body worshiping together again as one big family. I’ve really enjoyed some time off from my weekly worship leading role, too. We all need a break from time to time.  Plus, I think worship leaders need to sit in the pews now and again to regain some perspective of what it's like to be led in worship. We need those times when we’re not working as leaders, but can stand among the congregation as one among many and simply worship.

    My respite ends this Sunday. I’ll be back in the saddle again, leading worship for the First Service crowd. At least I hope it’s a crowd. You never know with this bunch!  I’m truly going to miss sleeping in a bit longer on Sundays, but I at least I’m not alone.  A whole team of faithful ones are willing to join me every week in my misery.  Some misery -  I get to play my guitar and sing to the Almighty, worshiping Him along with his precious saints!   

    Musician or not, I actually have a functioning left-brain. So I sent an email to the First Service worship team to remind them all that we’re back to rehearsing at eight o’clock starting this Sunday. Sleeping in, sadly, has come to an end for us. As I told them, “If we were a Seinfeld episode, I would say, ‘No sleep for YOU!’”  

And on this first Wednesday in August, that’s all she wrote.


"From my devotional reading this morning:  "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of his benefits;" Psalm 103:1-2

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Weighing In on Weighing In

This is my very first blog entry, so be a sport and leave a comment, ok?

Health experts opine that once she hits her mid-20's, the average U.S. woman can expect to put on about a pound of body weight per year. I'm afraid they got those stats right in my case. Yup, that's me - 25 pounds in 25 years! But I am not a person who has struggled with weight issues throughout my life, to be honest.  I've stayed pretty active, remained pretty slim, and ate pretty much whatever I wanted to for many years. Then I turned forty. Fifty. Fifty-something, and....let's just say it's not very pretty!

I confess to exaggerating just a tiny bit.  I am not as "svelte" as I'd like to be, but I'm clearly within the healthy BMI (body mass index) range for my age and height. I exercise. I don't expect to look like I did in my mid-20's.  Most of the time, I just try and behave myself, nutritionally speaking, and I don't sweat it. But in the last year and a half, I seem to be cruising dangerously close to the outer realms of healthy weight. The weight creep seems to have begun after a back injury in 2010 and picked up a little with the tornado that ripped through my state (and my neighborhood) on April 27, 2011. That's another story entirely.

For the first time in my life, I have a belly.  A belly!  On the plus side of things, my pants stay up a lot better these days. You may be surprised to learn that keeping pants up properly on one's waist is a struggle for slender people. "I love these slacks, but the crotch falls to my knees. If only I had a belly!". My friends who DO have life-long struggles with their weight are now ready to slap me up-side my head.  "This is why we hate skinny people," they might say. "Why is it that all you skinny people are the ones who watch 'The Biggest Loser' every week? Give us a BREAK! You're not fat! You're....ridiculous!"  Maybe.  But I don't like having a belly!  At least not this much of one.

About three weeks ago, I decided it was time to "belly up" to some weight loss efforts. Now I don't need to lose pounds by the double-digits, but I do have some clothes I would like to get back into without the aid of a shoe horn.  I have friends who sell Vemma products, so I decided to give their Bod-e Burn product line a try. I'm actually taking their 12-week Bod-e Transformation Challenge. They show you how to eat, when to eat, (when to drink their product, of course) and they encourage you to exercise every day and be sure and drink more water than a camel. As an added bonus, a really perky fitness coach will encourage you by way of online video to "lose one for the zipper."  Ok, not really, but I that's what I'd tell you, if it was up to me.

A few days ago I made a brief comment on my FaceBook wall about the program.  Oh my goodness, folks came out of the woodwork to either comment or to find out a little more!  Weight loss is obviously a hot topic, whether you're a "boomer" like me or a younger person. I know, too, that trying to lose and then keep extra pounds off is a source of painful frustration for many. So in the interest of the public good, I'll let you know how I'm progressing. I'll post some brief updates on my FB wall, and fill in a few more details in this blog.  Do not expect to see any "before" shots of me posing in compression sports wear, however.  It ain't gonna happen. No way Jose, Renee, Mel Torme, or whatever you call yourself.

And for this hot and muggy Tuesday afternoon, that's all she wrote.


P.S. You can read about Vemma's 12-Week Bod-e Transformation Challenge by copying this link and pasting into your browser:

I think the Vemma products taste pretty good. The primary antioxidant ingredient in all their product is mangosteen. The fact that it's a liquid means that your little cells gets the nutrition faster - most of it actually goes into your body instead of the john.  But if you don't like mango or orange flavor, you might not like Vemma. 

Here's Dr. Oz talking about getting a "protein punch" in your diet. He's a fan of Vemma's Verve healthy energy drink: